this question is a little crude so im sorry what is considered “prostituttion” EXACTLY? going to a strip club and getting handsy? (im in the military)I touched her vagina, her breasts and her lips with mine. I regret it deeply does that count/is it reportable? No set price was agreed for anything (besides the dance) . She offered to have sex for more money which I turned down and left after I gave her the $ for the dance. I know it’s dumb but I have a clearance and want to be honest im a future officer and feel guilty I am also single, no wife no girlfriend etc.
You have two choices here:
- You can “be honest,” which is what everyone on this forum will tell you to do. Just remember that some security official, polygrapher, investigator, or whoever else is involved in your security clearance process, could find a way to twist your story into prostitution. Yep. Then you could get an incident report which may result in a suspended clearance. All because you were “honest.”
- This is my recommendation: KEEP YOUR DAMN MOUTH SHUT. Pardon my language but fu-k your guilty consciences. Nobody knows about this and even if you were with a buddy he should know not to rat you out during a possible clearance investigation. It is ok to admit visiting a strip club here and there but be careful when you admit to getting lap dances. There are stories of security investigators asking specific questions about the level of nudity, contact during dances, and probing more from there. I was asked by the CIA shrink straight up if I ever used a prostitute. I wouldn’t even admit to strip club lap dances.
This is your career and if you want the job you need to know how to take some secrets to your grave. Just imagine the inconceivable case that in the future someone has a video of a stripper giving you a bj in VIP. Who cares?! There is no blackmail there and your not going to give away national security secrets to protect this video. Let the world see it. LOL.
Everyone needs to really keep their mouths shut and stop snitching on themselves.
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I do truly feel bad. Would you say this is using a prostitute? I feel like she tried to solicit me and I turned it down and im not sure if this falls under the guideline. Im single no wife no girlfriend nothing so I am not sure and don’t think this can be used to blackmail me.
That’s hard to answer since even the gov has not clearly defined it (separation of church and state type thing). Since they won’t bother, you can use whichever definition you want. The biblical definition does not include hand jobs or oral. If you go by that, then it’s not reportable. So there’s that. Otherwise, technically, it would be reportable.
I didn’t get a hand job or oral. And there was no straight up agreed price for anything. She just asked me if I wanted a dance. Then eventually she would offer sex and I said no.
This is not prostitution. You were in a strip club, a place of business that is legal. You did not pay her for sex. No report needed. Do you not think military guys with clearances don’t go to the strip club lol.
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Is what I did really bad though? I was no saint or anything. So I am pretty hung up about it all. If i did admit to it would I get kicked out?
Take it as a lesson learned. It wasnt prostitution. Had you paid…had she provided her charms…yes. Now, being evasive or equivocating as one suggested? Yeah don’t do that. Trying to talk around the subject can dig a hole for you such as the "ever drive after drinking? Were you buzzed? So you admit to DUI? " Poly people are weird. And truly can turn an innocent phrase into trouble In my logic yes I had a drink at a comedy club, yes I drove. No I was not drunk, got home safe…the only proof of DUI would be a field sobriety test or blood or breath. If that wasn’t done? Then not dui. I say this as analogy for what you did.
Don’t bring it up on an investigation either? Thank you I appreciate the answer.
No you need be honest. Speak to it. Are there any potential mitigations? Youth and stupidity are acceptable. The passing of time…3 to 5 years? Absolutely. No longer associate with people like this? Even better.
Like a month ago?
How would I bring it up in a non-poly setting? I am nervous if it comes up my clearance will get pulled and I get kicked out.
This 1 time, I’m in partial agreement with @Larry_the_Cable_Guy. I don’t see the point of reporting this. There is nothing in scope. No sexual act. If simply going to a strip club was a reportable activity, the investigative process would come to a grinding halt.
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I apologize. Intended that on another thread about drug use. I agree dont bring up strip club. Now trying to not think about it if asked? Gonna be tough, but that is what polygraphs do. Measures stress responses…that may correlate to guilty feelings. May.
Yeah you kinda hd me sweating ngl. How would I deal with this on a polygraph? Just bring it up and stress no prostitution happened? Illegal things happen everyday. Im sure i sped (a little) driving to work this morning.
I’ve been to strip clubs before, this was the only time I got out of hand (genitals touching) which is out of character and I am disapointed in myself for doing it. I will never do this again.
I don’t think I could handle a polygraph honestly haha.
Thank you guys for calming my head. I thought my clearance was surely good as gone.
If not asked dont bring up. Or fall for the "i feel you are holding back on me…we both know what it was. " I would not expect questions on prostitution. But then in 40 years Ive never seen a resume requested for investigators and on another thread an investigator says he does it all the time. Full scope is fair game. But if you were with a lady at a club and consensually touched body parts…also not reportable. You met a gal, hope its a gal, made out with said gal…then left. Humans have sex. Fact. Its routine everyday behavior. But staying out of strip clubs is good advice.
Yeah the genital part was the part that crosses the line for me. Wasn’t sure if it was considered “prostitution” or a “sexual act” or something along those lines.
When does it become a problem? I am 100% not doing this again, I am just curious where the line is if I see someone else have questions ?
Ehhh, consensual 2nd base. Private, personal behavior
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Talking at a strip club though just to be clear. Obviously sex (including oral) is where you should bring it up.
Not at all. Even when they say come on…we know all about your habit…yes no answers.