Hi folks, I’ll try to keep this as brief as possible. It helps that I’m deeply embarrassed and really don’t want to discuss this much.
I’m filling out my SF86 as many applicants do, and the role requires a ‘Secret’ clearance. I’ve been an attorney for a few years with a spotless record. While at my job, I was promoted to supervisor without issues for 2+ years.
I was moved to supervise a new office and for some reason I felt the need to fit in with the newer kids (even though we’re roughly the same age). Due to the nature of our jobs and how stressful they are, a lot of locker room talk goes on. Nothing sexist or racist, but definitely vulgar (think F bombs, and people going ‘Kill me already’. I supervise people the same age and older than me, so we often go out together and interact socially.
During my time in the new office, I shamefully made sexual jokes that have no place in the office from a supervisor. Did everyone else make those same jokes? Yes. Am I a supervisor held to a higher standard? Also yes. While I never ‘came on’ to anyone, denigrated anyone, made a racist/sexist remark, or asked anyone out, I still made those comments.
Two months later, I reported one of the employees for professional misconduct after multiple interventions to try and help them improve their work. That employee reported me for a hostile work environment, and the other employees told HR I made those comments.
I was initially placed on a 3-week leave before being called into a meeting. During this time, I wasn’t sure what the basis of the investigation was, but I’d been frustrated with the office for years and put out some applications. I was offered a job and walked into the meeting wanting to clear my name but set on resigning.
HR walked me through their employee interviews and their findings and we talked for roughly 3 hours. As this went on (and this is the only part I find funny to this day), I realized my parking was expiring, which is quite expensive in our city. After a break, I informed HR I was tendering my resignation to accept another job.
The interaction was respectful from both sides and it was amicable as I submitted my letter of resignation. HR told me none of this would be in my personal file or ever be visible to a federal agency’s and that the office would only have some notes that would be visible to itself in the future (obviously in case I ever tried to reapply and come back).
My supervisor was devastated to see me go and was much kinder to me than I was myself. He was a reference for my new job before this one I’m applying for.
At the end of the day, it’s been two months since I left. I’m still deeply ashamed of those comments, but I was never fired or disciplined, never suspended or resigned in lieu of termination. Is this something I need to put on my SF86?
I always err on the side of disclosure, and while the incident isn’t one I’m proud of, I do feel comfortable discussing it. Still, I’d rather not risk a denial because most places have a zero tolerance policy for hostile work environments.
Appreciate any and all thoughts, thank you!