I too have “rode the lightening” 4 times over 8 years. You are correct hey are horrible. Let me put your mind at unease, they do not become better if you already have the job. Because you lose the clearance and income if they arbitrarily feel you were deceptive. I agree they are gut wrenching.They don’t get easier. But…my advice, after being told the same…ALWAYS tell them you will return. No matter how awful you are feeling, move that blade of grass in front of you and tell them absolutely. Yes you feel beat up, small, humiliated, and likely confessed things that would make a sailor and a priest blush. Well, maybe not a priest anymore.But you get the point. If they have definite deception you will not be called back you will be denied. If they feel it is close but they cannot find any reason to deny…they need something to hang their hat on positive or negative. For instance, if it is an uncomfortable question on committing a crime and lets say you maybe got too fresh on a date…you feel you may have crossed a line…the guilt of that can lead to you showing hot on a criminal question. If you discuss it and it seems reasonable enough they do not call the police due to your honesty. That only goes so far. If you did commit a felony and weren’t caught…you do not get a pass. But feel free to talk to info from your past that makes you squeamish. I am the monarch of over thinking everything. As an INFJ personality I analyze endlessly. It is how I am wired and I can go down rabbit holes for days contemplating behavior, actions, what influenced me, why I did something, etc. And worse, if I imagine I did something or visualize doing something…it is as real a memory as if it happened. So if those thoughts pop up…I will register. And I just suffer under the sword of Damocles until they say recleared. It sucks. On this I give the group hug,. You aren’t suffering in silence by yourself. Even polygraphers hate submitting every 5.