Dating a girl with family that has clearances. Please help

I am a US and russian citizen (came over to America when I was only 1 y.o.) I do not have contacts with the Russian government and have lived 95% of my life in America. I have been dating a girl for about a year with a brother who works for the government and has strict security clearances (I’m assuming something that is very high). This brother has his own family and lives on the other side of the US and regularly keeps in contact with his parents whom my girlfriend does not live with at the moment because of this situation.

When we started dating, the brother told her that would be an issue and that it probably wouldn’t be if I renounced my citizenship. I was willing to do that to be with her. Time has since passed and kinda out of nowhere her family stops communicating with my family and we are told that they could not have contact with them because of the brothers work. I spoke with her father about marrying her and he told me that because I had Russian citizenship (and getting rid of it wouldn’t change anything) that if we got married, she and I couldn’t no longer have contact with her parents forever (even if the brother retires). What makes it worse is that her family just expects us to end it for the sake of her family. I love this girl and quite frankly don’t want to do that. She has already been out of contact with her brother for the most part because that causes him “security” issues. He has told his family that he cannot visit his parents because of my continuing relationship with his sister.

I’ve done my own research, read about security clearances for days. I read that certain clearances can have sub-clearances. I know that you’re required to report contact with any foreign nationals that you have close and or continuing contact with or if any family member or cohabitant is a foreign contact. What I am asking is, is her brother embellishing his security troubles for the sake of not risking his job status? Is it reasonable for him to push his parents to cease contact with us because of my RU citizenship even though he is not in contact with me or his sister? Is it honest to say his parents couldn’t have contact with us even after he retires because NDAs and other security issues?

All my friends with sec clearances think something is fishy here. This is a very weird situation and it’s been weighing heavily on us and I’m not really sure I trust what her family tells us as they have had a history of controlling and manipulative behavior. If there’s anyone here that can shed some light, give us options to pursue. That would be greatly appreciated. Thank you

Brother at most would have to report his association with you, but as a dual citizen, this is not common.

Sounds like the brother is someone that is a bit of a drama king. The brother would be a year late with self-reporting if this were really an issue.


Sounds like the family doesn’t like you.


I was told that he already reported me to his security officer and that I am still an issue. Again I am not sure of the validity of what was told to us, but it seems like a stretch that his officer would care about his parents who are in contact with his sister who is in contact with me. Thank you for your response!

1 Like

As long as all information and association has been reported you would not keep him from obtaining or maintaining a clearance. If you were a Russian spy living in America and dating the sister to get to him for espionage purposes then there may be an issue lol, but you said you don’t have any connections with the Russian government so he is blowing this way out of proportion.

I have had Subjects tell me that they have reported foreign contacts appropriately and their security officers have come back to them after the fact and told them to cease all contact with that individual going forward. The inner working of the process are mysterious to all. However, the fact that they are telling you they can’t have contact with you instead of just pulling away in a more “natural” manner seems to be a 'drama king" move.

1 Like

Yeah nah. Not how it works and not uncommon. As long as he reports contact all is good. You can move towards full US and cut ties with Russian if there are any ties, passport, income etc. If brother still frets? Well, that is on him but dear sister might cave to the family pressure. I would ask her what her plans and thoughts are towards you. If wedding bells are in the future…brother needs deal with it.

1 Like